End of the Road

Bundled up against the winter chill, children in our infant-toddler program go on a campus excursion. This undated photo was provided by retired preschool teacher Barbara Boyan (at left in the photo). Michal Mader, who teaches in Room 4, is on the right.

Vince d’Assis’s first memory as a White Pony student was riding in this cart around the campus where he would one day be elementary co-principal. “I must have been about one year old,” he says. (We had an infant-toddler program in those days.)

Two of Vince’s classmates from the Meher School Class of 1998—Brenda Barnhart, who teaches second grade, and Warren Wallace, our director of admissions—were in preschool with him. They don’t remember the cart, but chances are they were shuttled around on it too. Cart rides were a happy feature in our preschool for many years.

Over time, though, teachers grew weary of the constant flat tires and stopped using it to ferry children. In the years since, it's sometimes been decorated and used for special events, like Halloween. On one such occasion, our long-time beloved art teacher Diane (“3-B”) Cobb painted bunnies and flowers on it, which are visible in the above photo. It’s also been used at times to store nap blankets and extra toys. But since it took up precious space and served no specific purpose, we decided the time had come to let go of it.

Yesterday Vince and Brenda, with Warren at the helm, went for one last ride. The cart’s next—and final—trip will be to a landfill site near Pittsburg.

Maintaining Connections

The beginning of the school year often initiates the challenge of adjusting to a new schedule. We can all feel sad to leave summer behind with its longer days, more relaxed routines, and if your child is older, the freedom of not having to get homework done. It can be confusing that weather still feels like summer, beckoning us to spend time outside.

Recognizing that we still have a foot in both seasons, maybe we can all enter the fall season more gently, allowing ourselves a gradual entrance into more structured routines. This is the time we can lay the foundation for getting enough rest and feeling connected to one another by creating routines that leave family members, including ourselves, feeling secure and happy.

We can start by paying more attention to the beginning and end of the day. If everyone has had a more relaxed sleep schedule over summer, waking up to an alarm and struggling to leave the house to get to school on time can leave everyone feeling cranky. At the end of the day, children are often irritable after stretching themselves to adapt to new classrooms.

Mornings

Give yourself some time to adjust to each day before everyone has to get ready. Get up earlier than your children and do something restorative like stretching, drinking coffee, reading a book. Start the day with a positive connection: spend 10 minutes snuggling or talking with your child to wake him up rather than using an alarm. If things get rushed in the race to leave, make up for it by playing a game or listening to music in the car.

Preschool adjustments don’t happen overnight. Even children who have been at school for a year often feel anxious about having new teachers or new students starting in the room. Parents can help children de-stress by spending nurturing time alone in the beginning and end of the day.

Pick-up time

On your way to pick up your child at school, you can create a nice transition for yourself by listening to beautiful music or an audio book during your drive, in order to leave work dilemmas behind. It’s helpful when we know that children may have lots of big feelings at the end of the day, and on bad days, younger children especially might have meltdowns. We do well when we can listen to children’s complaints without getting alarmed. It helps them release their stress when we validate their feelings and point out that new beginnings are hard.

After picking your child up, having a snack together in the car or stopping at a park, when there’s time, allows for everyone to have a letdown from the day.

Bedtime

In September we often usher in a new sleep schedule as the days get shorter and life takes on more structure. One of the most important components of ensuring that children get adequate rest is helping them relax their bodies and minds before sleep.

Reading out loud even to older children is restful.

In addition to favorite stories, there are books and audiotapes designed to help children systematically relax every part of their bodies.

In a few months, everyone will have established a sense of belonging in their new classroom communities, and we will be having some community events that we can all enjoy together.

A Compassionate New Beginning

Building a compassionate community starts during these foundational first weeks of school, and this is a crucial time to dedicate ourselves to cultivating a sense of belonging for everyone. There is definitely a momentum, a unifying feeling that with the start of the new year we are embarking on change together.

As we buoy each other along, it’s helpful to remember some aspects of change that might not be paramount in our minds. New beginnings often involve leaving people and places behind, and it’s natural to miss them. We help children by reflecting on that passage. “You’re missing your teachers from last year, aren’t you? Let’s go back and visit.”

Some students in the new setting are new to our school and feel more vulnerable about being here. Children and their families need welcoming. This is the time to help children empathize with those who might not know anyone in the class. Ask them who is new in their class. Teach them that they can make a difference by greeting new children or inviting them to play. You can role-model these behaviors by talking to new parents. Introduce yourself in the hall or at back-to-school night or a preschool collage party. Many lifelong friendships start when parents meet during their children’s preschool or elementary years.

The term “new beginning” has such an energizing quality. Many parents take photos of their child on the first day or in the first weeks. It’s interesting to think as we look at those pictures that children will in some ways be different, more mature people when we transition to summer in June. Our community will also have grown with all the new relationships and ideas and projects that happen over the next months.

This will be especially true this school year, when we celebrate the school’s 50th anniversary in February with events that will include students and their families who were part of the school over the last five decades.