The Mysteries of Starlite

Starlite is an amazing material that has been perplexing scientists for four decades. It can withstand temperatures of thousands of degrees while demonstrating incredible thermal-resistive capabilities. When heat is applied to it, the material chars, which creates an expanding low-density carbon foam that’s highly heat resistant. A raw egg coated with starlite and subjected to a blowtorch for five minutes is still raw afterward.

To demonstrate starlite’s properties, fifth-grade teacher Joseph Schneider made a batch of the putty-like substance Friday, formed it into an inch-thick disk, placed a handful of pennies on top, then melted them with a blowtorch (shown in the photo above). When he picked the disk up immediately afterward, with the melted pennies still dripping onto the blacktop, the other side wasn’t the slightest bit warm to the touch.

(Joseph and his students wore safety goggles, and Safety Officers Ivy Summers and Vince d’Assis were standing by with a fire extinguisher.)

No one knows the original formula for starlite, which the English inventor took to his grave. He said it contained 21 ingredients. The version Joseph made has the same properties but consisted only of cornstarch, baking soda, and Elmer’s glue.

Resetting Ourselves

After a frustration-filled day with her daughter, a mom decides that learning the Nurtured Heart approach is impossible. Her child’s behavior has been driving her crazy for hours, and the idea that she should come up with something positive to say to her makes her angry. When her daughter finally asks for a privilege, the mom says no, and the daughter walks away.

Immediately after that interchange, a tiny possibility occurs to the mom, and she says, “Thanks for not arguing when I said no.” It turns out this recognition of a molecule of “good behavior” changed the course of their day. This true (but abridged) story is from a unique book called Taking a Stand: The Art, Science, and Practice of Resetting, by three mothers who share authentic tales of their struggles to change their own behavior and the dramatic results in their family lives.

The sudden insight and pivot made by this worn-out, discouraged mother is called a reset in the Nurtured Heart Approach. Resets are magical do-overs, opportunities in the present moment to course-correct, and they often happen at the most difficult times. Another mother in the book recounts how after suddenly realizing she was screaming at her son, simply decided change what she was saying. Her effort made them both laugh. “I am yelling and I need to reset right now! Aren’t you glad I’m learning to do this?”

The term “reset” is a term most people at our school have heard. We ask children to stop and reset when their behavior needs to change. The Meher Schools has offered workshops on Nurtured Heart and the principle of asking a child to pause and take a reset rather than lecturing them or energizing them in other ways for their actions. Yet it’s the ability of adults to reset themselves and react in new ways that lies at the heart of Nurtured Heart transformation.

Meher Schools teachers know this and often talk about resetting themselves to provide a role model for students. A teacher realizing she’s using an irritated tone might state for everyone to hear, “My voice sounds cranky. I’m going to reset myself right now.” Teachers are transparent in saying “I need to step away and take some deep, calming breaths right now,” and they encourage children to reset in those ways too. They provide places for them to go when they need to calm.

The ability to reset oneself is one of the most powerful tools we have for maintaining strong connections, even during difficult situations. What a gift we all share to be part of a community where adults and children are learning how to use it.

If you want to learn more about resetting and the Nurtured Heart Approach, Susie would be happy to meet with you.

Expecting and Excited

Room 10 first grade teacher Laura White announced to her class last week that she’s going to have a baby. Once they got over their initial surprise, her students guessed whether it’s a girl or a boy (it’s a boy) and what it will look like. “I got some very sweet congratulatory notes and drawings,” she smiles. She’s due in late July. Laura is also director of our three choruses. Her son will grow up surrounded by sweet music. Laura and her husband, Alex White, who co-owns a software-development company, are both Meher School graduates. Laura says, “I’m looking forward to meeting our new family member and celebrating every milestone together as he learns and grows!”