Halloween Opportunities

In the weeks approaching Halloween, we have the chance to see what value this celebration holds for children and note some of the risks. It’s important for adults to be aware that for young or highly sensitive older children, grotesque images in movies and holiday displays can haunt children’s sleep and psyches for weeks after Halloween, even if they protest that they love scary things.

The positive news is Halloween provides an occasion to enhance children’s emotional development by letting them act out fantasies and overcome fears and feelings of helplessness. In our elementary parade on Halloween, we ask children not to wear frightening masks, but children get the chance to show off their costumes and their bravery as they see an assortment of ghosts and powerful figures traveling around the school and through the preschool yards, and afterward everyone can say, “I wasn’t afraid!”

Halloween offers some of the benefits of dramatic play and play therapy, situations where children are given free rein to experiment with expressing new aspects of the personality. An emphasis on creating a strong sense of self and playfulness with others is a priority right now, after the isolation and social regression of COVID. It’s part of making wellness a priority.

Sometimes parents in preschool express concern about boys wearing dresses, not realizing that trying on new identities without being judged is an important process in emotional development. Dramatic play often doesn’t involve an appreciative audience, but on Halloween children (and adults) can look forward to really being seen.

The process of creating a new self is enhanced by the amount of involvement and creativity children put into it. Store-bought Power Ranger or even Disney princess costumes don’t afford a child a lot of choices. Problem solving about their costume choices promotes emotional investment and learning. In preparation for trick-or-treating, children of every age can make choices that make them feel empowered. Do they want an extra prop? Do they want make-up or a mask? Do they want to create a lookalike costume with a friend or be individual?

Halloween can remind us all of the importance of making time for play and pretend throughout the year, not just on a day of nationally recognized celebration.

A New Halloween Tradition: The Switch Witch

Wondering what to do with all the excess trick-or-treat candy your child will be amassing on Halloween? Several Meher School families have suggested inviting the Switch Witch to come that night to exchange a small gift for the candy. The gift could be a toy, money, a simple family outing like a bike ride, a healthier snack, or anything your child would look forward to.

You might consider talking to your child about the Switch Witch to gauge if this tradition would be a good fit for your family. If so, you can work with your child to set expectations around how much candy they'll get to keep, and what types of goodies the Switch Witch may leave.

This new tradition me be fun and empowering for some young ones, and parents may appreciate it, too!

Pause and Refresh

“In an age of constant movement, nothing is as urgent as sitting still.” Pico Iyer

A second grader running relentlessly on the grassy field suddenly stops, lies on her back, places one hand over her heart and one on her tummy, closes her eyes, and breathes slowly. “Ms. Karima taught us how to stop and calm ourselves.” Second grade teacher Karima Hastings is just one of the White Pony and Meher School teachers who help students learn about the importance of taking short breaks to breathe and self-calm.

Pausing – the act of stopping to notice what’s happening around them and inside their bodies – is one of the most important skills children can learn. Creating the habit of pausing can help children handle many situations, especially social interactions, with more self-regulation and intention. Taking deep breaths actually slows the heart rate and signals muscles to relax.

It can be challenging to help children who are very active or very young to stop and reorient when they are fighting, over-tired, or over-stimulated. Children will often resist pausing because it feels uncomfortable and foreign to them.

The key is to start small but do it consistently. Start with pauses that last a few seconds. Stay with a dysregulated child so that your energy helps them to unwind and feel safe in their bodies. Create areas for children to curl up and rest. As children develop a routine of stopping to check in with themselves, they can become the guardians of their own nervous systems.

Children who are very active and impulsive often relate well to having a visual image of the next activity or a timer to signal how long they need to spend resting.

The Nurtured Heart Approach involves the use of a brief reset or pause, implemented without lecturing and anger, to get children back on track and feeling good about themselves. The reset can be a few seconds or minutes. The focus is on the positive abilities to listen and change directions. “Look how quickly you listened and cleaned up your things.”

Parents and teachers are important role models when it comes to taking breaks and nurturing themselves in the midst of intense activity. It’s helpful for to children to witness adults saying things like “I have to calm myself for a few minutes.” “I need to take time to think before I make a decision.” “My body needs to rest before I start something else.” “Let’s sit down and think about this together.”

Our whole culture can benefit from learning to pause and refresh in the midst of so much change and activity.