Connecting Through Humor

“A wonderful thing about laughter is that it destroys any kind of system for dividing people.”

— John Cleese, actor, comedian

A few seconds of silliness can inspire cooperation in even the most difficult situations. Frustrated by a child refusing to clean up? Try playfully tossing items into the air and catching them. Laughing releases endorphins in the brain and stimulates feelings of happiness. Our willingness to be silly also nourishes children’s capacity for humor.

Using comic relief is a social skill that helps children and adults interact more harmoniously. After three years of pandemic – a time when children’s interactions have been limited – exploring the benefits of shared laughter seems beneficial.

When we are tired or in a rushed situation, who wants to stop and be silly? However, our willingness to bring even a few seconds of laughter into a tense situation lightens everyone’s mood. When we surprise children with humor, they often forget why they were refusing to do something.

We all have our own ways to get children to smile: talking like a robot, pretending to fall down, singing in an operatic voice, telling a knock-knock joke. Children love humor that makes them feel more competent than the adult. For example, if you’re urging a child to do homework, pretend that you’re struggling to write a word and misspell it in a crazy way. Ask, “Is that right?”

Paying attention to what makes children laugh helps us to encourage their sense of humor. Most people love getting babies to laugh. Witness grown-ups contorting their faces to get an infant to smile. Babies love physical comedy and the disappearing act of peekaboo.

As children get older, what they think is funny often reflects in ways we don’t understand. As children accomplish potty training and learn more about bodies, they often demonstrate their growth through a fascination with body parts. It’s appropriate to set limits when certain jokes are inappropriate, and we never want to allow put-downs. But we want to encourage children to explore what they think is funny. Praise children for their ability to see humor in situations. Have a family joke night. Make up knock-knock riddles. Notice when older children get a younger one to laugh.

We know when we get a baby to giggle, we are creating the electricity of connection, and no antics seem too silly to try to maintain that current between us. Connecting through humor allows for a feeling of lightness. When we laugh with someone, energies lift, and as John Cleese says in the opening quote, sharp divisions disappear, and we feel united with that person in the gift of good cheer.

Room 2’s Exhibit of “Process” Art

Room 2 had an art show recently. It was curated by teacher Khaila Mixon, who began organizing the event in January, “inspired by how skilled and artistic our children are.”

The children worked for more than a month on projects for the show – making clay pots, canvas collage paintings, and watercolor paintings. “I wanted to be sure the art I included was open ended and process based,” Khaila says.

Open-ended or “process” art, she explains, refers to projects “that have no desired outcome. The children are given a set of materials and have the freedom to experiment and create in any way they want.” In contrast, “structured” art refers to “projects that have a desired outcome, and children are given instructions on where to color, cut, glue, fold, and so forth.”

Process art, she notes, “is a big part of what we do in preschool because it allows children to create freely and focus on the experience of creating rather than the outcome.”

Once their projects were finished, Khaila mounted them on displays she had made and arranged them outdoors for a morning exhibit of the children’s work for parents and staff to view. “The children really enjoyed being able to explore the materials and getting to show off their work at the end.”

This is Khaila’s first year teaching preschool, “and I couldn’t be happier with my experience so far.” Before coming to work at the White Pony, she was an aftercare teacher in an elementary program in Danville – and before that, she was a weather forecaster in the Air Force! She also coaches soccer for preschool-age children in Oakland.

“Teaching has been an interest of mine since I was a child, and I plan to continue my teaching career here at The Meher Schools,” she says. This fall she’ll be attending the Montessori Teacher Education Center in San Leandro to earn her Montessori credential.

Cultivating Children’s Creativity

“He decided he needs a gray crayon,” a father explains to the water at Tutu’s, a restaurant where they provide crayons for children waiting for their meals. The waiter happily searches through the stash of crayons. Meanwhile, the six-year-old artist has rearranged cups and plates on the circular table, as he busily draws on a piece of art paper, probably brought from home. The father validates his efforts saying, “I see you’re making a still life!” Sure enough, the boy proudly holds up a realistic representation of a cup and some other cutlery.

The father turns to my husband, where we sit at an adjoining table and says, “He and his older sister are always drawing. She has asked for a box of markers with 150 colors, but I’m glad to get them as many colors as they wanted. It’s so much better than being on the iPad.”

How great that this dad brought blank paper rather than having his child fill in the coloring book pages provided by the restaurant and that he supports his son’s efforts get his drawing just right. He may not be aware in that moment that he is facilitating his son’s creativity – a way of thinking that will help him build success in every area of life – but his encouragement sends the message that his son’s ideas and efforts have value. Psychologists say that the ability to think creatively is the biggest predictor of overall success as children grow into adulthood.

Creativity isn’t just about art. We want children to be able to think outside the box – to come up with new ideas and problem-solve. One of the ways we foster creativity is helping children make their vision a reality. This could be as simple as offering them props that extend their imaginary play or encouraging them in a project to earn extra money, like having a bake sale.

Research shows that children’s scores on tests of creative thinking have declined nationally for decades. In general, an approach to academics that focuses only on getting the right answer undermines creativity. At our school, children benefit from exciting learning, coupled with an infusion of the arts, which stimulates flexible thinking – at every level.

We nurture the ability to think imaginatively by noticing when it occurs in any area of life. “I see you had a whole new idea for building with those blocks.” “You guys really came up with a great idea to settle your problem.” The future depends on children growing up believing in their own ingenuity and ability to approach even the biggest challenges in creative ways.

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Mitch Resnick, director of the Lifelong Kindergarten Group at MIT, offers 10 easy-to-implement tips for creating a fertile environment in which children’s creativity will “take root, grow and flourish.”