Mental Health Panel Answers Parents' Questions

Panel members, seated, from left to right: Maggie Stagg, PsyD; John Osborne, LCSW; Wendy Ritchey, PhD; Susie Kohl, a child development authority; Sigrid Karina Madrigal, a positive psychology coach. That’s Warren Wallace on the left.

Five mental health professionals answered wide-ranging questions from parents at a panel discussion held on campus Monday night. Sponsored by our Equity & Inclusion Committee, the panel was held in connection with Mental Health Awareness Month. Meet the panelists.

Click the links below to see videos of the panel’s responses to questions:

What is mental health? What is mental illness?

How can we support a child who acts aggressively toward parents at pick-up time?

How can I talk to my kindergartner about ADHD?

What advice do you have for a family whose child has been diagnosed with a chronic disease?

How do we increase a child’s frustration tolerance?

Can normalizing “big feelings” lead to not seeking help?

How should we deal with rude and disrespectful teens?

Supporting Children During Transitions

New beginnings call on us to build strength and a positive view about what life will bring. Yet transitions involve uncertainty and can evoke our human tendency to worry.

A father told me how he worried for months about how his son would adjust to school. “The first day my son said good-bye in five minutes, and I realized I had wasted all that time being anxious about how he would do.” On the other hand, children don’t always adjust quickly, and knowing that it’s normal for adjustments to present challenges allows us to support children without fearing the difficulties will go on forever.

One of our Meher Schools parents once told me how much her father helped her by not worrying about her. “He always thought I would do fine.” What a gift we offer ourselves and our children when we can free ourselves of fears.

We can’t force ourselves not to worry. At least I can’t! Our ability to imagine what will happen in the future is one of our wonderful human capacities. However, the tendency to notice the negative and imagine the worst can shut down our ability to inspire confidence.

We can start by catching ourselves when we start to think catastrophically about our children’s abilities to handle new situations. Howard Glasser’s “Nurtured Heart Approach” teaches adults to observe and acknowledge positive attributes and behaviors that could easily go unnoticed. Recognizing children’s positive capacities builds their inner wealth and helps us keep letting go of unproductive anxiety. Nurtured Heart’s focus on what’s going right transforms the perspectives of adults and children.

In September the school will sponsor a Nurtured Heart training for parents. Be watching for information in Wednesday Messages.

Children Making a Difference

When third-grader Noor felt inspired to start a school club devoted to cleaning up trash on the playground, the adults in her life fully encouraged her every step of the way. “My dad bought gloves for the club members to wear,” Noor says. “I scheduled a meeting with the co-principals, and they suggested ordering green ‘uniforms’ for the trash collectors.” Noor made up announcements, and so many people wanted to sign up, it was hard for her to write down all their names.

Her Green Team, scheduled to go over the playground once a week, has received lots of positive feedback. “I was proud that when a teacher sent a student from another class out to pick up trash and they couldn’t find one piece of paper on the playground.”

In the last two decades, children have shown us again and again that their creative ideas for helping others and the planet can bring about astounding results.

At the age of eight, Marin County resident Vivienne Harr saw pictures of two child slaves carrying huge burdens and told her parents she wanted to help stop child slavery by selling lemonade. They took her seriously. In the first six months, she raised $100,000, but that was just the beginning of her philanthropy. Now 17, Vivienne has turned her efforts to many causes, has spoken at many events around the world, and is the youngest recipient of the George H. W. Bush Points of Light Award. Read her story here.

Greta Thunberg didn’t start her work to implement climate change until she was 15, but she has motivated people around the world to take the issues seriously.

The idea of being of service can start in small, simple ways. Families can brainstorm ideas together. Some organizations provide opportunities like the White Pony Express Baby Backpack project we’re sponsoring at school.

Summer is a good time to plan family projects, and they can start small. Clean the yard of an elderly neighbor or walk a few blocks in downtown Walnut Creek and pick up trash. Push stray shopping carts in a store parking lot back to the holding areas. Read books to younger children. Design bookmarks to leave in a local library.

We need children to become creative leaders who can find ways to put compassion for others and for the environment into action. By encouraging them to help at home and in the community in small ways, we build their confidence that they can make a difference in the world.